Just as our students care for our classroom, they can practice caring at home by helping out to keep your own environment safe and sound. When you offer good reason and explanations for caring for the environment, children are more willing to help out as they build awareness and appreciation. If your children are reluctant to do their part, find opportunities to thoughtfully explain to them about why we like our home to be tidy. And just a note, children are typically more willing to participate in conversation about these things when you talk in advance in a matter-of-fact approach, rather than being confronted. As Montessori educators, we teach students in advance about the prepared environment to prevent misunderstandings, accidents, misuse of materials, and more. Needless to say, children recognize their privileges and care more for materials when they have built an appreciation for their environment.
Learning Through Visuals
In the Primary Studio, we will show examples of messy classrooms and clean classrooms to recognize the differences. For example, we may begin with showing them a messy room during one of our group discussions. We ask the students, “What could happen if we continued to be careless and stop caring about putting things away and keeping things clean?” We hear responses like, “someone could get hurt / things get broken and lost / it makes us feel sad, frustrated, etc.” Then we look at the image of a clean classroom, and students might comment on how “good” it feels, how they are interested in particular decorations in the room, noticing that “everything is beautiful / easy to find things / everyone is safe and happy / it’s a healthy place to be,” and so on. You can apply this same approach at home if it would help to gain some extra respect around the house. Feel free to use any of the following images, find your own images, or take pictures as you see messes (or clean moments) in your own home to share with your child. Just remember, we are not looking to shame them for their messes- this is a preventative approach, helping to building appreciation for their environment.
Questions and comments to consider when presenting imagery to build awareness:
“What happens when we take too many items out at once?”
“Isn’t it a lot harder to clean a big mess than a small mess?”
“How does the messy room make you feel? / How does the clean room make you feel?”
“How might one get hurt in the messy room?”
“What makes the clean room safe?”
“Which room do you like more / which room would you like to relax in?”
“What are some things that bring you joy in the clean room? / How might you feel if you had to spend time in the messy room?”
Bringing awareness to a child’s own environment can help them to appreciate a healthy environment and to be more mindful before making big messes. The more we explain our expectations and desires, the more we can help our children to be more mindful of their actions. Plus, this approach gives your children a chance to practice thoughtful conversations. A great time to talk about these things could be in place of a book before bed, or any other downtime, perhaps in a cozy area where there are no distractions.
Ground Rules for the Home
We don’t just talk about respecting the material in our environment at school, we talk about care for self and others, and all of these topics fall under a list of “ground rules” to keep our classroom and students feeling content, interested, productive, and safe. Going over these rules with examples and discussion questions about feelings, etc. can help to build a safe environment. That said, there’s no reason you can’t have some rules or general expectations and practices laid out like this for your own home to help your child to build respect for the safety and tone that your home provides.
Below is a list of our some of our ground rules in our classroom to give you an idea so that you can start building your own. You don’t necessarily need to make an official list, but even having some open conversations about expectations is a great place to set the tone. I have added a few in italics at the end that might be helpful for your own home.
In the Montessori environment, we like to consider rules to be formed around privileges. Children are often used to being treated like “little children,” often “not allowed” to touch certain materials and not expected to know how to behave in such a way, assuming they are too young to understand. But in Montessori, we know how capable children are, and with thoughtful rules around building respect for our environment, we have witnessed children taking pride in having responsibilities and abilities to use materials in a safe way (thus proving that they are more capable than some adults give them credit for). They know that they have more opportunities in the classroom when they are being productive with the materials.
You can also prepare your child to have expectations when out in public, such as discussing social norms and cultural expectations, prepping in advance before heading to outings such as restaurants, birthday gatherings, playgrounds, and family events. Practice words around greeting others, manners at the table, polite comments, and showing appreciation for the food presented to us, etc. These are all practices your child is working on at school– skills that they can start applying to their everyday life.
We also periodically show students images of other children (stock photos) breaking our rules – a strategic way to prevent this behavior from happening altogether. When we look at these images at school, we ask questions like, ‘do you think their parents feel comfortable taking them to a restaurant? How would the chef feel if they knew that someone was just playing around and making a mess with the food that they worked so hard to prepare? How might the farmers feel? Do you think that a child ignoring their parent should expect that their parent is going to be in a good mood to read books to them later?’ and, “How might the rest of the child’s evening look like if they continue to treat their parents in this way?’ This is the perfect opportunity to talk about natural consequences, without calling out the behavior of your own child.
Natural Consequences
Talking about natural consequences is something we discuss often in our classroom, an approach that we follow within the Montessori Method. For example, instead of “time-out,” we avoid that term altogether, and take a more conversational approach around natural consequences, speaking to our students like “little adults.” For example, “you were not being safe with the material and you could have accidentally hurt someone, so this work is no longer available for you until we have a chance to review it with you,” or, “we are going to take a break from this work until we know your body has calmed down – you can work with these materials in the meantime (such as pre-requisites), and if we see that you are ready to try again, we can consider coming back later.” Seems long-winded? Not as much as you think – our students know when they are testing boundaries, and they will typically come back around with this redirection.
Now, if a child is getting physical and aggressive, we may say something along the lines, “it’s time to take a break outside of the classroom with another teacher, because you are no longer keeping our environment safe and we need to know that you are calm and ready to make safe choices before you return. If we see that you have found a way to calm your body, reflect, find peace, meditate, and think about things – then we can talk about returning back to class.” Please note that these conversations are one-to-one, the teacher kneeling at the child’s eye level, speaking quietly with concern in their tone to the child (away from others to avoid eavesdropping), giving them a chance to gather themselves and move forward. Another teacher might periodically check in on a child who is struggling while taking a moment, offering them self-regulating techniques. It all depends on the child and their understanding of the situation, and we get really good at “reading” a child, so do reach out if you could use particular advice. The goal is to help them to grow in these moments– and that might mean that they are feeling some remorse when acknowledged and reminded about something or someone else’s safety. This is quite opposite of shaming – we are simply talking about the facts while offering emotional support. It is okay to feel sorry sometimes, and sometimes a child needs help to become more aware of their actions. We might walk them through what just happened while finding a way to bring awareness to others, such as, “Your friend is very sad that you knocked over their tower. If someone knocked over your tower, you might feel sad, too. When you’re ready to talk to your friend, we can walk over together to apologize and try to work together again, with gentle hands.”
Not Making a Scene When Confronting a Child
Some children regress at times, and it can be difficult to know how to respond in front of others—especially if a child has hurt someone intentionally or simply gotten carried away, and their peers have witnessed it. Instead of raising your voice or shaming the child, it helps to kneel down at their level and check in. You might say with genuine concern, “Is everyone okay?” If no one is hurt but the child was getting carried away, you can gently redirect: “Are you okay? Come over here so I can talk with you and make sure you’re feeling alright.”
In a one-on-one moment, you might hold the child’s hands and remind them: “These are gentle hands. I know you know how to use your hands in a safe way. If you need something, we can use our words or find a teacher to help.”
The key is not to let behaviors escalate repeatedly. Address the issue quickly, and follow through with the natural consequence of stepping aside to check in. Children don’t want to be pulled out of play often, and over time they learn that you care, that you’re paying attention, and that their choices matter.
Coming back to our classroom lessons and discussions, we talk about natural consequences in the home as well, for example, after looking at some images of stressed-out parents standing in a messy room, we might explain, “these parents have too much to clean up, because their child doesn’t want to help. Do you think they will have time to play with their children? And if there is time, will they be too tired / upset to spend quality time with their child by reading a book before bed?” That said, a natural consequence could be as simple as the result of your feelings, such as, “I am feeling too exhausted to take you to the park, because I’ve been cleaning up too many of your messes without your help. When you are ready to help me, then I will have more time for you- but today, we are out of time.” Call it tough love if you will, but bringing awareness to your child will potentially help them to make different choices in the future.
We have already set the tone for home expectations in class during our discussion lessons, so do not let your child fool you! Much of this information they have already heard from class, so don’t hesitate to get into the habit of following through with natural consequences. We would love to all be on the same page. Ultimately, this will help your child to build respect and awareness on a number of levels, including growth in empathy and awareness of how their choices can affect others.
Talking in advance about unsafe and unacceptable behavior is a Montessori approach to teaching discipline, and this approach often prevents the behavior from happening in the first place. In Montessori, our idea of discipline is to try and help our students develop safe behavior and “care for self / care for the environment” through instruction and practice. Maria Montessori emphasized us to, “Teach by teaching, not by correcting.”The more we teach lessons in advance about grace and courtesy through examples and discussion, the less likely we will find the need to correct children later as we help them to build a strong foundation. Note: we find that using sample photos can be helpful, because our young students are visual learners. Looking at stock imagery of people acting out situations gives our students a chance to become more thoughtful about their future choices, simply by talking about images of people we don’t know (instead of pointing out a behavior of someone we do know). We often remind our students that we are here to help each other. Everyone makes mistakes, and that’s okay–we are learning from those mistakes. Sometimes it’s an accident, and sometimes we don’t realize we’ve made a mistake until later. We are talking about the courage to admit it (and to admit when we are wrong), say what happened, and learn from it. We also explain that we can help each other to make safe choices by setting positive examples. As you can imagine, we see amazing results in the Montessori environment with the consistency of preventative discussions.
Additional Insight Around Discussing Consequences in Advance
& Ways to Cope
As we’ve discussed, to prevent children from being tempted to break the rules or show reluctance, find time to talk about consequences in advance. Here are some additional images to help you in this process, followed by some suggested questions:
“Do you think this child’s mom is going to want to take them to the grocery store again if their child is begging for treats the whole time? / “What would happen if mom always bought everything the child wanted – is it fair? Would there be enough money or room for food we need for our growing bodies?”
“Do you think that hitting and kicking is going to get them what they want? Should this be the way we get what we want? How do you think it feels to get kicked at like this?”
“If someone is yelling and screaming, can we talk to that person in that moment about what is really going on, or should we wait until they calm down?”
“How can we be respectful (polite, use manners, etc.) when going on an outing?”
“How can we talk respectfully when we don’t want to do something? / If we still have to do that thing, we need to remember there is a good reason to listen (e.g., cleaning up makes our environment safe, getting good sleep helps our growing brains and helps our parents to focus at work, going to school on time supports your parents in getting to work on time. Going to work pays for your home, food, and activities, etc.).
As we’ve been saying all along, many consequences occur naturally. For example, you may not feel like taking your child to the park in the evening if they’ve acted disrespectfully toward you. That’s a meaningful consequence they can learn from, and with consistency, they will become more mindful about their actions next time. I can’t emphasize this enough: while the consequence itself is meaningful, it only works if you can hold firm. I realize some parents find it hard to hear their child fuss or cry, and may eventually give in when the child escalates to a tantrum. Please understand that your child needs these moments to practice self-regulation, reflect on natural consequences, and grow. If you’re struggling in this area, please don’t hesitate to reach out—we’re here to support you. If your child is throwing a tantrum and you know they will work through it within 5 minutes or so, then let them have that moment. If it all seems like too much and they can’t handle it – don’t give in, just redirect and give them the options they have left. You may need to guide them and show them their options or choose for them, such as, you can play still play with these toys on your own. If you can show me that you can play nicely and help with clean up, then maybe tomorrow, if we get a good night sleep, we can do that thing.”
Most children get carried away or cross boundaries from time to time, so we emphasize in our lessons that we can learn from our choices, no matter the outcome. In class, we remind students that everyone—even adults—sometimes forgets expectations, makes mistakes, or moves too quickly and causes an accident. We might misunderstand someone’s words, accidentally break something, or act without thinking through first. That’s why we stress the importance of slowing down, calming down, and taking time to reflect.
This emphasis prepares children for those difficult moments when they find themselves in the wrong and struggle to admit that they made a hurtful choice. Some children find it especially hard to say “sorry,” so we get ahead of this lesson by reminding them that we all need to apologize at times, even when something was an accident. For children who really struggle with the word sorry, we show them that there are other kind ways to acknowledge what happened—checking in on a friend, asking if they’re okay, or offering a gentle explanation. A kind apology might be as simple as, “I didn’t mean to bump you—are you hurt?” or “I didn’t realize that I bumped into your tower—can I help fix it?”
So with that in mind, what do we do for those random moments where our children just need a few minutes to cool down, reflect, and self-regulate?
If your child has been disrespectful or simply needs a reset, you can calmly and firmly guide them to a cozy area away from distractions. If they resist and the behavior continues to disrupt you or others, it may help to direct them to a different room, such as their bedroom, until they have calmed down. In most cases, though, a cozy spot in the living room, family room, or bedroom works well—simply a different place than where the incident occurred, ideally with fewer distractions to support calm. These spaces should never feel shameful; they are places children can use to recenter and self-regulate at any time. Think of it not as a “time-out” area, but as a peaceful and safe space they can come and go from freely, outside of the moments when you are redirecting them.
Spending time to walk through the benefits and uses of the cozy area in advance is important if you want this area to be affective. Talk about how sometimes we just need time to reflect, calm down, take a break and try again later. As a preventative, you could say in your own words, “If I suggest that you go to the cozy corner/your room, it’s because I want you to find peace in yourself. Even if I seem upset in the moment, just know that me directing you to this area is because I care, and because I want you to feel better. Once the crying is done and you have calmed down, you can use your words and talk to me, and finally, you can come back and find a new peaceful activity. Taking time to ourselves helps us to refocus and remember that everything can be okay. We all need to have alone time sometimes.”
Building a Cozy Corner to Create a Peaceful Area with Limited Activity
Now, let’s take a look at how we manage our cozy area in our own classroom, to give you ideas for your own home:
Create a cozy area with rugs, blankets and pillows. Place a small number of items at a time that are easy to clean up, so it doesn’t get too messy or overstimulating. Encourage your child to go there at any time to find some peace or simply relax. It is also helpful to spend time with them there periodically by reading a book or looking at the interesting objects that you have displayed there, explaining that this is a special peace area for quiet activities in order to focus on finding peace and relaxation. This is not a “play area,” and once you see them misusing the area, it’s time to ask them to leave and redirect them to do something else. You could say, “It looks like you’re ready to do some busy work,” and redirect them to a specific activity. Misuse of materials may also be a sign of boredom, and you may need to change the material to draw in new interest and reset the tone. Offer items that children can hold in their hands—things they can fidget with or quietly explore. When you spend time with them in this area, encourage them to notice the details and focus on something interesting or unique about what you’ve provided. You might point out a color, texture, or pattern to gently draw their attention in. You may also want to practice a breathing technique with them. During our circle times, we often practice slow breathing while holding a peaceful object. We might pass around a bowl of smooth stones or shells, inviting each child to choose one to hold carefully in their hands during the discussion. You can also offer a basket of fidget toys, shells, family photos of happy times, calming picture books, and miscellaneous objects that are beautiful and peaceful. Make it clear that this area needs to remain neat, safe and organized (and you can remind them, “just like you do at school”). If you happen to have a small floor table, a large tray, decorative box with a lid, or an old wooden cutting board – you can suggest that they can lay out the objects on this surface– not all over the floor area. In our classroom, we have a floor table where children can line up images, shells, and other objects. The table sits on a large rug with a cushion. A small version of our floor table could be a bed serving tray (with legs).
Below are some ideas of images or objects to consider adding to your cozy area.
Ideas for your cozy corner: beautiful imagery, found objects, sand timers, fidget toys, zen garden, etc.
After a Visit to the Cozy Corner due to Conflict, It’s Time to Return and Work Things Out
First off, just a reminder to discuss in advance (i.e., before an incident) that (in words that make sense to your child), “Once we’ve calmed down and found some inner peace, we can go back and face someone to talk about what needs to be resolved.” Keep in mind that child is still learning this concept. It takes repetition and consistency for these points to sink in sometimes. So if you feel like a broken record, you’re doing your part!
So a conflict has occurred and your child has been sent to the area. Let them know briefly that you will check in on them soon, once they have taken a moment to calm down. Once the crying has calmed down, keep in mind upon approaching them to get down on their level and look them in the eyes. Towering over a child can put them in a defensive and vulnerable place. We want them to open up, and ultimately feel better, making safe and thoughtful choices moving forward.
Parents are Teachers, too! Give Lessons on Handling Household Items & Toys
Another way to prevent consequences is to give quick lessons, presentations, or demonstrations on things around the house. As you are your child’s biggest role models, you are their most important teachers. If you offer your child a toy and have a vision on how you expect them to play with it, don’t assume that they will use the toy just so. Set the tone and example, and your expectations will be more realistic.You can take this same approach to teaching as a Montessori teacher does, by offering lessons around the house that demonstrate how you expect their child to utilize and handle them. While you don’t necessarily have to present them just as we do with a thorough step-by-step presentation, approach materials with curiosity and interest—pointing out their delicacy and modeling the gentle, careful way to handle each item.
In our studio, we give lessons on all new materials – even something as basic as building blocks. Blocks can be fun and constructive and as simple as they seem, they can also be dangerous when a child gets carried away. For example, it is important that we walk through step-by-step handling of our old classic wooden Montessori “Brown Stairs” and “Pink Tower” to ensure constructive building– not destructive demolition! You can encourage your children to be constructive and creative by (you) building something first, talking about what you are building by using vocabulary words as you make order to materials, and adding purpose to it such as a type of building (apartment, house, fire department, etc.). This is providing safe ideas for children with aggressive tendencies, so that we see less of the knocking towers, banging blocks on other materials, and throwing objects around. We go as far as pointing out the smooth paint on our blocks, and how the paint gets nicked when we are not careful. We have rules on a regular basis around being safe and constructive in the classroom, so do not underestimate your child’s awareness around safety. Our students know that throwing, knocking, or dumping materials is unsafe in our classroom environment. You may have different expectations at home, and that’s perfectly fine, but to support consistency between home and school around respect, we encourage you to set clear limits that help keep activities safe and productive.
While no one expects you to give lessons on everything as we do, keep in mind that a quick demonstration can be enough. Even 20 seconds of acting out a peaceful story with figurines or making a simple pattern with connector blocks can set the tone for safe play. Sometimes we do this when a child is already working with a material but has gotten side tracked with the purpose—for example, we might find a child banging figurines from the deer family together instead of creating a safe habitat. In those moments, we might say, “That doesn’t look like a safe story! Let me remind you of safe ways to tell a story,” and then quickly begin building a habitat with the other objects to demonstrate how the deer can find food and care for their baby—all within 20 seconds or less. Depending on the child, and how often they are testing boundaries, we might also leave on this note before walking away: “I’ll come back in a little bit to see how your habitat is coming along.
As children are still learning, they need gentle reminders, but if they continue to get carried away in our classroom, it’s time to redirect and put the material away, explaining, “I’ll have to show you how to use that safely later, when I have the opportunity.” Sometimes we will present the work again at circle time, but often the child truly does know how to use the material—they may have simply been at it for too long and just need a quick reset and redirect, rather than a full reminder. If the activity shifts into being unsafe or disruptive, it may also be a good moment to pause the work cycle by inviting the child to the cozy corner or stepping aside with a teacher for a gentle conversation about safety.
During your brief demonstration or gentle reminder, you can tell your child not to touch until you are done: “It’s my turn, then it will be your turn,” or simply, “Let me show you first, and then you can finish it for me.” Your children are already in the habit of watching their teachers present materials first, so don’t hesitate to be clear and assertive. Also, take note, that while we have rules around keeping materials organized and using them safely, we encourage productivity and creativity. Challenge the child to create a different pattern or design, add purpose to their tower, and so on.
When you do have the time, you can take a fuller approach—pointing out details, using descriptive words, and adding purpose to the activity. Narrating or telling a peaceful story with your child’s toys can spark their imagination and offer them new ideas for play. And if things start to feel overwhelming with how materials are being handled, remember it’s never too late to reset or redirect. Sometimes that simply means putting certain toys away for a while and reintroducing them later with fresh inspiration.
Walk away; Let your Child Play Independently
Once you’ve given ideas on how to use the material, allow your child some independent time to explore on their own. We know you love spending every minute with your child, and while it’s wonderful to join in at times, it’s not beneficial if you do it every time. In the classroom, we work hard to help children take pride in their independence—to feel proud when they succeed, and also to enjoy getting lost in the process.
When your child comes to show you their amazing creation, try pointing out something interesting about it instead of going straight to “good job.” Acknowledging their work in a thoughtful way is more empowering and helps prevent them from becoming dependent on praise. Let them discover what they are proud of by explaining it to you. You might say, “That’s a tall tower—what did you do to make it so stable and strong?” or, “I see you made a pattern; can you tell me about it?”
Encouraging Independence in the Home
Your children are heavily encouraged to be independent in this classroom and while we would hope that they are applying their knowledge at home, we know that they are sometimes putting you to the test. And sometimes it’s on us as we are often in a hurry during transitions, and we tend to do things for our children more often than necessary. Sometimes we don’t even give them a chance to show us what they are already capable of. Montessori encourages us to be patient with our children and to let them show us that they can put their clothes on, their shoes on, put dishes away, pick up after themselves, etc. The more your child can do for themselves, the more they take pride in their abilities.
To encourage independence, it’s helpful to acknowledge your child at times by making statements and facts, rather than praises, so that they aren’t trying to just please you, rather, they’re finding pride in themselves and their abilities. Acknowledge them with facts such as, “you put your own shoes on / you combed your hair neatly / your teeth look so sparkly clean / you made some very interesting patterns with those blocks / what a thoughtful and colorful drawing,” etc.
In addition, instead of praise, you can ask questions followed by acknowledgement to learn more about their finished masterpiece, design, or drawing. For example, “I see you drew a circle above a square – can you tell me about them?” or “this long part of the castle looks special – can you tell me more about it?” Children love talking about their finished products, and sharing about their accomplishments gets their motors running for more ideas. After their explanation, give them some intellectual feed back (instead of the typical praise terms such as “good job”) such as “that is a very unique idea,” or “you are learning to challenge yourself in new ways,” or “I have never seen that before – very original!”
Helping Out in the Kitchen
Some more examples to encourage independence, care for environment, and appreciation for one’s home can be found in your own kitchen. Give a quick presentation a couple of times on how to help out in the kitchen, including wiping down tables with a damp cloth, setting the tables, putting dirty dishes in the sink, using a hand broom to sweep up crumbs, folding towels, dusting shelves, helping in on food prep, and so forth.
Table Manners
Children can better appreciate the purpose of meals when contributing and recognizing that this is a time to enjoy each other’s company, while practicing respect and manners. By finding small ways to contribute, such as setting the table, passing food to one another, and cleaning up after themselves can be helpful. Talk to your child in advance about how you expect them to eat their food, and also consider how you expect your child to act towards your own friends and people in public. These topics can simply come up in a conversation on the way to the restaurant.
If you prepare meals in advance or you don’t see an opportunity for your child to contribute in meal prep, you can remind them of the efforts so that they can better appreciate where their food is coming from. Actually, we’ve already got you covered when it comes to your efforts through many class discussions, so your children already understand that you are “working hard to make money, providing their food, shelter, clothing, activities, and more.” So don’t hesitate to remind them of how many hours you spent to be able to afford that meal, and so much more. We need to remember that children can comprehend much more than many people realize.
Greetings
Our students greet their teachers every day upon arrival at Indigo as they enter the classroom. They “walk the line” together, as a teacher sits at the door of the classroom to greet them, and one by one, each child looks the teacher in the eyes and vise versa, and the teacher says, “good morning (child’s name here)” followed by the child’s response, “good morning (teacher’s name here).” Start practicing greetings upon pick up, through the doors at home, asking “how are you,” saying “goodbye” when people leave, etc. Role play will help your children to be more prepared so that they are comfortable with greetings when company actually arrives. Remind them to say, “thank you,” when someone compliments their clothing or other items, and remind them how a response can affect how someone feels. The more we can build up your child’s vocabulary and comfort level of talking to others (who are within your safe friends group and environment), the more practice they have to build confidence and clarity in their ability to converse and make connections with others.
General Household Cleaning Activities
Help your child to respect their own material and belongings, give them tasks with dusting their room, organizing their shelves, sorting laundry such as socks, and folding their own clothes. And be sure to periodically show your appreciation and awareness that they are contributing. Offering a water wipe or a damp towel with vinegar water to wipe down surfaces are just some ideas to get your children participating in cleaning their own work spaces, such as their art table after they just used some markers.
More Ways To Practice Independence
Create organized spaces such as low shelving where your child can take one toy or activity out at a time to practice creativity, caring for their belongings, and putting things back when they are finished. If your child has tons of toys all over the place and it’s hard for you to envision making room for organized areas like this, it’s never too late for “spring cleaning.” I realize that finding the time is difficult, but if you can get some helping hands to give you some windows to organize, starting all over again to reset the tone and encourage constructive play could pay off in the long run. Keeping a good number of toys in storage and periodically rotating them by offering only a manageable amount at a time can bring peace and order back into your environment.
Notice which toys are being neglected in a big toy room full of toys and consider packing some things up. Just as we rotate material in the classroom to draw in interest, there’s no reason you can’t rotate toys. Taking some toys away for a little while can bring new life and interest to them later when it’s time to switch out (and plus, you don’t find the need to buy new things all of the time to draw their interest back in). Sound overwhelming? Put a few toys away every other day until the job gets done. You and your child will ultimately be happier with less clutter. Rotating toys and being able to clearly see on a shelf what you’ve got to work with brings a new appeal to the material. Adding a tray or basket to contain the toys and making a special place for that toy or toy set can also add value and draw interest in a new light.
Once you’ve got the room mostly organized, children can help organize their books by size or color, wipe down their shelves and organize their toys and activities, help choose ways to decorate their own room, organize their stuffed animals, choose a cozy area, etc. Periodically reminding them to wipe shelves and reorganize will help in keeping them on track. If your child forgot to put something back, your response doesn’t necessarily need to be treated in a negative way that a rule was broken – instead, this could be an opportunity for redirection. For example, you could say something like, “oops, you forgot to put this back. Let’s get that back on the shelf so that you don’t lose pieces and it will be there for you when you’re ready to play with it again.”
Note: Toy rooms are not necessary and sometimes too much. Offering all of the toys at once can be overwhelming, and many children tend to grow out of their toys quickly when they are always available. In addition, many young children prefer to be in the presence of others while they are playing, and being alone in a toy room is not always desirable. Having a designated corner in a living space can create a productive and peaceful area for your child to stay busy.
Independent Activities that keep Children Busy for Long Periods at a Time. When offering anything, find small ways to make the material interesting and special. Sometimes too much of one thing can be overwhelming, especially when it comes to cleaning up for little ones. It doesn’t take a lot of objects on a tray or in a bin to keep your child occupied, and we know, because this is our approach in our classroom! Sometimes less is more, as children start noticing details they never noticed before.
Constructive activities that children can get creative with include puzzles, mosaic toy pegboards, legos, connector toys, blocks, discovery baskets with nature objects, a handful of figurines with a few props for story telling, sensorial bins with moon sand and a few interesting objects, transportation bowl of tiny planes, trucks, boats, and a tray surface to work with them, etc. If you have old board games and (including games meant for adults) just laying around collecting dust, turn them into constructive building activities for kids. For example, a Chinese checker board can be used for making designs with the marbles, an old battleship game could be presented in a storytelling / artistic approach, such as creating build boat maps or patterns with pegs (i.e., opposite to the actual purpose of the game), and dominos are fun for making roads.
And again, don’t hesitate to present any material to your child before they touch it. Show them examples about how to tell a story, ideas to making patterns in blocks, and so forth.Library Books
We go biweekly to the library for our students, but if you don’t have time to go to the library, consider rotating out the books you do have. Again, encourage your children to show respect and appreciation for their books by having them nicely organized on a shelf, in a basket, or stacked/lined up on the floor.
Kitchen Utensils Activities
Find a tray and set up some bowls or cups with water, or offer some lentils or rice that you never got around to cooking, and let your child practice pouring, scooping, sifting, mixing, and using other various kitchen utensils that you aren’t using for dinner that evening. Here are some images to give you ideas for making your own “works.”
The act of pouring, scooping and other repetitive exercises are great for building concentration, sharpening fine motor skills, and building awareness of quantities. The experience can also be very calming and meditative for many children.
Something to keep in mind: Your children are getting plenty of these types of activities at school, so no need to put too much emphasis in this area. After a long school day, we realize that your children are often ready to see something different and play with toys that are more exploratory. If you like the idea of exploring with dried foods, you could make a sensorial bin with dried corn or rice, along with some tiny toys such as figurines, coins, or plastic gems for your child to create a story within a bin such as a cake pan.
Musical Instruments
Offer quiet percussion instruments in a basket or on a floor table, including singing bowls, jingle bells, rain sticks, rattles, etc. You could also set the tone with peaceful or up-beat music in the background.
Mirror to Practice Exercise such as Yoga & Dance
Get a little rug, yoga mat, and/ or a mirror, connect to a good music station, and offer a music area where your child can practice some exercise. Standing a mirror upright can help them to pay attention to taking their dance and exercise more seriously. Just be sure to give rules around mirror safety. Explain how dancers take pride in their dance moves and mirrors help them to experiment with position appearances and posture. And yes, we have also talked about mirror and glass safety in the classroom, so it’s nothing new for your little ones.
Props For Dancing & Role Play
Offer a basket with scarves, percussion instruments, hats, sun glasses, long ribbons, etc, so that your child can can dress up and look in the mirror as they find confidence in their dance moves, music, meditation, role play, etc.
Art Table Ideas
If there’s one thing I clearly remember in my childhood, way back in kindergarten and 1st grade is my little round art table where my father always had a pile of old printing paper, with containers of pencils, markers, colored pencils and crayons. This was a very happy memory as I recall it being a very creative outlet. It’s been fun to see my own 5 year old enjoying a similar set-up where she takes time daily at her own personal table, drawing or coloring. The only difference is, our table is a multi-purpose table that always stays clear when it’s not in use. She chooses her activity from either our Montessori shelves with activity trays or from some art drawers.
Update: My youngest, age 1.5, just got her own table as well, practicing similar activities in a simplified way. We keep our tables in our most common hang-out area of our home, our living room / sun room, including a child-sized shelf with toy options on trays. We do not believe in toy rooms as our children prefer to be in the presence of others while they work independently. We have an additional shared table in a corner of the room with a fixed activity (i.e., a playlet that does not need to be put away) such as a large doll house and accessories, which also gets rotated every 2 weeks.
Good quality sharpened pencils go a long way. Keep pencils & colored pencils sharpened, which requires some work on your end to check a couple of times a week, but it’s worth it if your kid loves art. Good quality pencils can prevent them from getting discouraged as they work on their pincer grip, building coordination, drawing fine lines and more. Don’t waste your money on cheap colored pencils. The tips often break and they don’t sharpen well. Purchase a nice colored pencil set and a sharpener – they will sharpen better, there’s less breakage, and they last longer, and the grip is better (especially if you choose a hexagonal shaped pencil). Please reach out for brand recommendations as we only use the best, for a reasonable price, in our classroom and in the home.
A simple art table is a creative outlet where your child can practice focus, creativity, and building coordination in fine motor skills. Crayons and markers are great options, too, along with paints and anything else that you are comfortable with in your own home. Speaking of crayons – don’t get anything cheaper than Crayola. Breaking crayons are also discouraging for children. Crayola is the most affordable for the quality!
Outdoor Activities – ESPECIALLY great for summer break
Sandbox or Sand Sensorial Bin
A sand box can simply be some sand in a plastic kiddy pool. However you manage, the key is good quality fine sand to get the texture good for molding and sculpting. Builders sand is likely too course and there is also a risk of hazardous particles, so check your labels. Play sand and beach grade sand is probably the safest and finest. Depending on the sand and dryness, you may need to offer a little bit of water, and you can also add nature to the box with shells. For indoors, you could offer a small sensorial bin of objects with moon sand (which is less messy).
Water Bins and Pools
Pools or sand/water tables can be made primarily for water and objects such as shells, toy fish, and figurines. Water tables are great for children to practice standing while they play.
Magnifying Glasses for Backyard Exploration
Magnifying glasses go a long way – especially glass or high quality clear plastic, along with other discovery tools such as plastic tweezers to pick small objects up, nets, buckets for gathering rocks, and binoculars to give your kids plenty of opportunity to explore their own backyard.
Approaches to Teaching New Vocabulary, Letter Sounds, Numbers, Etc.
For returning students, we encourage some academics here and there to help keep your children in practice during the summer, mentally preparing them for the next school year. An easy way to practice is to teach one to three beginning letter sounds at a time, and start with the lower case letters first. Remember to primarily focus on the common sound, not so much on the name of the letter. Try placing print outs of lowercase letters around the house with an image that makes the most common letter sound, for example place a “b” with an image of a bear taped to the mirror where your child brushes their teeth, , and “i” with an image of an igloo and iguana by their bedside. Rotate these letters once every week or two. Note: In my own home, we use a cork board on the wall next to my 5 year old’s bed, switching out letter activity pages that my child worked on at Indigo.
Montessori Tips: Introduce only one vowel at a time, with 2 consonants, choosing sounds that are very different from one another and letters that look different from one another. For example, do not introduce lowercase d and b together, and do not introduce m and n together.
For older students who know their common letter sounds, use the same approach as above by adding some double letter sounds that are tricky blends like th from “three,” cr from “crab,” or ee in “bee.” Once you have a kindergartener, site words can be randomly placed around the house. Action words, description words, and simple sentences are also something that you can add to the mix, depending on your child’s understanding.
Last But NOT Least, Add Your Own Personal Touches!
We have a great group of students, and we have all of you to thank for your support and care for your children. So keep doing what you do and be inspired to explore! Exploring nature, spending time together, having discussions, teaching your little ones about random facts of the world, keeping their interest in the outdoors and staying active — you are already practicing things that compliment the Montessori Method. The Montessori approach is a lifestyle that can be incorporated into your daily activities, and you are already in practice in indirect ways. Hopefully this post gives you some food for thought to get inspired with new creative ideas in your own home. Please reach out if you have any thoughts or questions. Always happy to share!
